Freedom, within me
My freedom is within me
It always was
Looking for it in you
Was where I went wrong
I carry it in my thinking
And in my thoughts
I feel it in my voice
And in my words
I embody it in my stance
And in my slant
Even if you can’t understand
My freedom is within me
It always was
The story you are telling
That you have spun
Has made me so dizzy
Overwhelmed
Lost
I somehow was made to believe that my pain was my cross to bear
That this trauma
Had a noble edge
But now I know that’s bullshit
A manipulated
Farce
I cloaked myself as martyr
As selfless
I thought this was love
Your price of admission is too steep
I’d rather be
Wild
And
Free
My freedom is within me
It always was
I am the compass
not your beliefs
As long as I keep walking my path of truth
Not for your approval
But for my own god damn joy
May I know the sweet smell of azadi
Deep inside my heart
May I know its unmistakable light
Noor shine bright
My freedom is within me
It always was
My freedom comes with unconditioning
Unlearning
A life riddled with self betrayal
The constant shapeshifting to fit your meanings
Has left me astray
I start by breaking out of the boxes you stuffed me in
To learn to live as my whole self
My freedom is within me
It always was
Heaven forbid you were made to feel uncomfortable
For the system that helps you feast
you perpetuate all the spaces where I feel most weak
From how you incorrectly say my name
To how you fingerprint me in shame
I am made to feel so far from this world I didn’t create
Why do I keep dancing to your favourite song
When I’ve had the escape key all along
My freedom is within me
It always was
the spoken word
I conceive these pieces with the beat of my heart,
then birth them with the fire of my voice.
for your enjoyment
Find these words in:
Feels Zine: Freedom Issue
i am ayla
born in the east, raised in the west
daughter of two academics, both artists
masters in human rights, committed to social justice
love affair with travel, art, and food
speaks four languages, laughs in all